Narcissism 101

Congregation of the Nerds

Today marks the grand opening of Apple’s first outlet store in Queensland, something I wouldn’t have actually known about if it wasn’t for my brother Luke. You see everyone likes free stuff right? Well today for the opening, the first 1000 people through the door will receive a limited edition Apple t-shirt. Please, don’t be offended if I find the whole event blasé, but I am not an Apple Fan nor do I like getting up before midday!

We discussed at what time I should get there, the store officially opened at 9am so Luke thought getting there slightly before if not right on the dot should be fine. I mean how many Apple geeks could honestly live around the Gold Coast?

So whilst having breakfast and getting ready I receive a phone call from our other brother Jordan, apparently Luke asked the same thing of him, if I knew he’d be there I probably would have slept in. Jordan was ringing to ask if I was still coming down. He’d been there since 7 and lucky for that I guess, apparently the person who was first in line had been there since 9pm the night before. Who would have known?

As I arrive I come to find a line of people stretching from the store to somewhere around the corner, I start walking back and forth trying to find Jordan, for something so simple the line was crazy. Everywhere I look I see people sporting comical shirts that only those with a high enough IQ and a tolerance for a MAC operating system would get. To me I saw middle aged men who needed permission from their mothers to come down. I honestly felt like I had the only functioning male organ in the entire center (by functioning I meant that I use mine).

I start to get closer and closer to the store when all of a sudden I see Jordan, lucky he wasn’t too far away from the front of the line, I mean compared to the poor shmucks arriving now, how long would people be willing to wait for a t-shirt!! With 10 mins left before the store doors open all the staff (roughly 20 of them) decide to come out and in a single file run up one side of the cue to the end and then back down the other side, all the while high fiving the eager fans. Gee whiz, get your excitement out, not! Let me get back to the fact that there were yes, 20 people roughly going to be working on this first day. A store no bigger then a phone shop where you’d find 4 people at max working… I didn’t know who was keener, the geeks doing the all nighters, or the employees.

Here I was still surprised not to see a storm trooper, or spock in the line.

As the staff finally complete their round trip, you get a sense as to how far back the end of the line actually reaches, reason being, one of the staff has collapsed and is lying on the floor of the centre! Now I didn’t see if they tripped, or fainted with sheer excitement, all I know is this is perfect evidence that geeks cannot participate in physical exercise. So as 9 o’clock arrives, the doors open and the crowds start walking trough, security is doing their part to hold back youths trying to jump cue! Why jump the cue? It’s only a shirt! As I find myself entering the front of the store, more than ¾ of the staff have formed a tunnel and are cheering as customers walk through. And the last small minority is left to serve the hundreds of customers they have in the store! *smirk* thank god I no longer work in retail.

I get home away from all the commotion and all the excitement and I go to look at the shirt, I remember the rather flamboyant and camp employee saying its one size fits all! He was right, X(geeky)L being the desired choice by Apple, and by the looks of the fans in line, not a bad choice at that! They sure do know how to cater for their fans don’t they!

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