Going to a Sofia Coppola movie is always going to be an interesting journey that challenges the senses and thought. Somewhere is the story of a thirty-something actor who lives for stimulation in any form. It shows the day-to day commitments of an actor participating in pre-release publicity, the parties, the women and ultimately the loneliness. The loneliness is the underpinning theme of this movie. The question asked of him at a press conference, “Who is Johnny Darko?” is unable to be answered by Johnny. Ultimately, this movie is about trying to understand what the answer to that question is.

The title, in itself, seems to be a misnomer. "Somewhere" implies a place or destination. This journey does not have an itinerary, rather, it feels like the aimless wanderings of thirsty man lost in the desert. There are moments of head scratching, wonderment and confusion about where the piece is heading and how it is can possibly reach a satisfying resolution.

This film is a piece of art. Harris Savides' cinematography has moments of simple beauty and many of the scenes work beautifully in this artistic offering. He has captured the scenery in a manner that evokes a deep sense of understanding and beauty. Stephen Dorff as Johnny Marco and Elle Fanning as Cleo, his daughter, are cast well and have a really believable relationship. The sound contributed to the beauty of the imagery but I was left with a feeling of abandonment as it sounded like things were heading for a climax, only to be misdirected. Perhaps it was director Sofia Coppola’s intent to misdirect the audience and maintain the ebb and flow and if so, it worked.

This movie is not for an intended audience of middle aged males so I dutifully asked Herself to attend this screening with me. She makes the following observations.

"The overall feeling is that while there was a constant tempo to the movie and it was excruciatingly slow. To put it simply, it dragged on, and on, and on… The premise of the story revolves around the self indulgence of a popular actor and the counterpoint of the jaded lifestyle is just taken way too far for me. The introduction of the daughter brings a welcome respite until infectious banality re-emerges and sucks the life out of the movie. As a woman who reads the occasional Mills and Boon as a bit of “mind candy”, this little morsel left me with the bitter aftertaste of artificial sweetener. In short, it dragged and even though the ending was unexpected, the experience left me unsatisfied. I am sure the artistry of the work will please some, but not me."

Somewhere has an intrinsic beauty in the visuals and has some appeal. After all, it has won some awards, including a Venice Film Festival Golden Lion for Emerging Cinema for Sofia Coppola. I dare-say Margaret and David will be enthused about this piece.

Fellas, as this really is not a bloke flick and your beloved wants to take you, there are a few bonuses for you, but the reward of flesh is way too little for the length of time (97 minutes) and suffering many will go through.

While we are glad to have had the opportunity to see it for the positives, it leaves one feeling a little cold and wanting more Think of it as like the fancy canapés and hors d'oeuvres at a high end function. When you leave, you just want a good kebab to sustain you through the rest of the night.

Now, where is the burger joint, I need a burger with the lot and a side of beer battered chips.

REVIEW BY ROBERT HARTLEY