It’s not often I leave the cinema shaking my head in utter disbelief. In fact, I pride myself
on searching hard to find the faintest scrap of enjoyment out of even the worst of films. Sadly, there was none to be had with Red Riding Hood. What could have been a unique, gothic,
Burtonesque-style adaptation is a disaster from start to finish.

Red Riding Hood takes place in a medieval township where the beautiful, young Valerie
(Amanda Seyfried) spends her time frolicking in the dark forest with childhood sweetheart
and village woodcutter Peter (Shiloh Fernandez). Unfortunately, she is arranged to marry someone else (aren't they always?), village blacksmith Henry (Max Irons).

After a full moon, the forest's resident werewolf has claimed its first human victim, Valerie’s
sister, forcing the village to call upon the aid of Father Solomon (Gary Oldman) to help rid
them of the beast once and for all.

Part soap opera, part lame teenager murder mystery and zero parts classic beloved folktale,
Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke subjects audiences to another love triangle with a
supernatural twist that fails spectacularly.

Red Riding Hood is riddled with impertinent plot holes I can’t even begin to explain, such as
hints at Valerie’s dark past that seemly go nowhere, a holy father that ends up slaughtering
more innocent people than the actual werewolf and a horse-drawn elephant car that doubles
as a medieval torture device.

Awful, cheesy dialogue between characters is in abundance here, and the awkwardness
between the two brooding men fighting for Valerie’s affection is cringe-worthy, offering up
some of the worst lines ever heard in a film. Combine this with absurd creative direction, like
the storybook feel to the costumes, and a set design bordering on comical, (I have honestly
seen more realistic looking medieval villages constructed by toddlers out of Lego) and you
have one mess of film with a serious identity crisis.

Amanda Seyfried does the best with what shes given and Gary Oldman's manic moments of
religious fanaticism add some energy to an otherwise stale, talentless cast, but neither are
enough to save the film.

It’s sad how the once celebrated and exciting genre of the supernatural thriller has evolved
into a cash cow aimed solely at teens. This is one film better left unwatched.