Coming Third
Rapture Postponed Till 21 October 2011
- Details
- Category: Coming Third
- Published on Monday, 30 May 2011 14:00
- Written by Rhett Bendorf
- Hits: 1722
On behalf of Harold Camping, www.judgementday2011.com, and The American Society of The Batshit Crazy, we would like to regretfully announce that Rapture 2011, initially scheduled for 21 May 2011, has been postponed till 21 October 2011, due to a serious mental illness. For those of you who purchased Doomsday 2011 T-Shirts, these shirts are still valid till the end of the world, or until the end of the year, whichever comes first. For those of you who committed suicide in anticipation of the doomsday, what for no other logical explanation other than 'to beat the traffic,' well, we're really, really, really sorry. That's the problem with predicting doomsday, when you're wrong, everyone on earth thinks you're a dickhead, but when you're right, everyone on earth is dead (and thinks you're a dickhead posthumously).
Jesus was here on 21 May, as predicted, but very few people realised it, and you were likely one of them (Believe you me, we are not trying to save face here, only save souls...and sell t-shirts (http://judgementday2011.spreadshirt.com/i-survived-judgement-day-2011-A7537759/customize/color/1) for just $20.40 plus postage or buy now and no interest or payments till 2013.
Barring any natural disasters, world war, global killer viral outbreaks, nuclear fallout, etc, we are committed to bringing you the best possible Rapture ever on 21 October 2011. In the event Rapture doesn't happen on 21 October, the Australian Leg of the Elton John World Tour will go ahead as normal in November, get your tickets at www.ticketek.com.au now!
Thanking You!
