Is he overrated? Should he be playing in all forms cricket? Fuck no! His name is Michael Clarke and he captured the imagination of the moderate Gabba crowd earlier this week with his attempt of "let's bat as slow as possible and send everyone in the crowd to sleep while I bat for myself in an attempt to increase my average". He makes the big bucks and is balling the second hottest chick in Oz (behind Jennifer Hawkins) but seriously dude, the next captain of Australia? I think not. Selfish? I think so.

 

I remember a time far far away when the West Indies ruled the cricketing world, with the likes of Big Bird, The Master Blaster, and Malcolm Marshall dominating all sundry. Now we have a bunch of D Grade has been half-white, half-black wannabe useless twats. I sat in the stand watching an Australian and an Indian playing for them. Which would be okayish if they actually performed but they didn't. It's fucked. No more needs to be said.

 

In golf, he is without comparison - the equivalent of Don Bradman - but if you are going to cheat on your hot wife, don't do it in the car, at least put her over the bonnet first. The aim of Golf is to put your ball in one hole, yet in his personal life, Tiger tries to shove his balls in many holes. One hole is apparently not enough!

 

The Titans are in the box seat to sign Greg Bird, with the Cowboys poised to withdraw interest in the controversial playmaker. I think his presence will have a calming influence on the club along with new recruits Mat Johns, Julian O'Neil, Chris Walker, Nate Myles and "Smokin" Joe Kilroy. This will make the ingredients of a nice little, wife bashing, casino shitting, cock blocking, arse licking, gang bang college fuck feast, girlfriend glassing, hotel room shitting on the walls unit, or something to emulate the Bulldogs gang raping days of the late 1990's.

 

The Titans' fans must be salivating.