Being Ballsy

Week in Sport 2

Sexual assault, a new coach, a supposedly repentant superstar, a supposed star hurting his back (yet again) and more. Check out this week's sporting review.

Has soccer in Australia finally grown up? It certainly seems to have emulated the NRL and AFL but not in the good way. Suspended Young Socceroos skipper and Sydney FC player Sebastian Ryall has been accused of engaging in a sex act with a 13-year-old girl, and told police she said she was 16. What the fuck?! The push-up bra, braces, Zac Efron posters and Tamagotchi in the back pocket didn’t clearly indicate she might have been in pre-school. If you're not sure then don't draw moron.

Fallen AFL star Wayne Carey went on four-day drug and alcohol benders and often contemplated suicide. In a revealing new book, Carey says he never recovered from the fallout of his 2002 affair with Kelli Stevens, the wife of Kangaroos team-mate Anthony Stevens. I guess it is hard to not fall-out or more specifically fall-in your best mates wife, again and again and again…What a jerk off! The whole interview reeked of someone pretending to be remorseful for the camera but he's apologised again and again. Actions speak louder and his scream "wanker" which is a shame because he could really play.

Australia's new Twenty20 captain Michael Clarke can't match some of his team-mates for runs or time one the park at the moment. He also lacks the heart of the great Michael Slater, the ability to sing the team song in key after a test match (if he's not asking it to be sung early so he can have dinner with his girlfriend). He's labelled the heir-apparent by the NSW media but is he realy a long-term option considering yet again he is struggling with a chronic back injury which shortened his Champions Trophy campaign in South Africa. “Any time you get injured it's a worry,'' he said. “I'm in a position where I'm not willing to risk coming back too early because I want it to be 100 per cent right before I try to do too much.” “I'm seeing a physio who specialises in backs and she has been fantastic. At this stage we're very confident that I'm not going to need surgery.'' Personally, I’d take a little back niggle to put my googlies in the rough of Lara Bingle anyday. 

Has Charlie Miller played his last game for Brisbane Roar? Off contract at the end of the season, the Scottish playmaker's ongoing fitness issues don't sit well with new Roar coach Ange Postecoglou. Having served a two-match ban for violent conduct, Miller had been scheduled to return for the Roar's away clash with Sydney FC tomorrow. But, having hardly trained this week because of recurring KFC withdrawal symptoms, the 33-year-old former Rangers midfielder will be left at home.

Why can’t the A-League administration board just let an old man play with a bum bag full of cookies to satisfy his needs throughout a game, where is the fair play gone in the beautiful game? I don’t know anything more beautiful than watching the Cookie Monster Miller.

Finally, ‘Passion’ is an overused word which often smokescreens the actual. However, Liverpool fans have just that. I’m an avid Arsenal supporter, but not even the Gunners can come close to the aerosol spray of emotion Liverpool fans create when they hold up their scarves and flags and unite to sing ‘Never Walk Alone.’ It may even demand admiration from Man U fans… nah maybe not but the IQs of a Man U supporter means the rest of us don't care what they may think.

But you almost had to feel for Liverpool supporters last week (almost) when they conceded the only goal of the game after it bounced off a beach ball thrown onto the pitch. The ref's boss has since come out and admitted it should have been a drop ball but bad luck to the reds and their supporters. There's an obvious line about a bag of hot-air influencing the game like Bill Harrigan... but I think I'll leave it alone as Hollywood may know where I live.

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